Peregrine ‘Basil’ Fawltywings
A veteran of numerous formation flying exercises, ceremonial flypasts and several incidents that the Orange Arrows team has officially classified as ‘unexpected atmospheric interactions’, Fawltywings is widely regarded as one of the most experienced pilots in the knitted aviation service.
Born in Galgorm in 1976, Fawltywings developed an early fascination with aviation. He subsequently enlisted as a trainee pilot, demonstrating an exceptional ability to fly aircraft in a straight line, provided there was sufficient visibility a favourable wind and nobody shouting instructions from the ground.
He rose rapidly through the ranks eventually attaining the position of Wing Commander. His promotion was reportedly accelerated following an incident in which he successfully completed a full circuit of Galgorm Orange Hall despite losing his compass, altimeter and most of his aircraft’s left wing. His official flight log described the manoeuvre as ‘a routine navigational adjustment’.
Operational responsibilities
Fawltywings is responsible for overseeing flight operations, pilot discipline, aircraft readiness and the maintenance of acceptable standards of aerial presentation. He specialises in early knitted biplanes, precision formation flying and ceremonial manoeuvres.
His operational duties include:
Leading the Orange Arrows during major ceremonial flypasts.
Conducting pre-flight inspections, including counting the wings.
Ensuring all aircraft have sufficient wool, thread and emergency knitting supplies.
Maintaining formation discipline during aerial displays.
Investigating unexplained aircraft movements.
Ensuring pilots return with the same number of aircraft parts (more or less) with which they departed.
He is particularly insistent that all pilots maintain proper formation. His preferred instruction, ‘Keep your wings level and your needles sharp’, has become something of a squadron motto.
Flying record
Fawltywings has accumulated an impressive flying record, although the precise number of hours remains disputed. The squadron’s flight log contains several entries marked ‘duration unknown’, ‘landed elsewhere’ and ‘possibly still airborne’.
His most celebrated achievement was the Great Galgorm Flypast of 2026, during which he led a formation of twelve knitted biplanes in a spectacular display over the village. The formation was widely praised, although three aircraft subsequently landed in a field near Gracehill.
Fawltywings accepted full responsibility for the incident, explaining that the formation had encountered ‘a minor geographical disagreement’.
Leadership style
Known for his immaculate flying jacket and perfectly pressed uniform, Fawltywings maintains an uncompromising approach to knitted aviation. He is particularly intolerant of sloppy stitching, loose wing fabric and pilots who cannot distinguish between a landing strip and a washing line.
Decorations and honours
His official decorations include:
The Galgorm Distinguished Flying Medal.
The Order of the Golden Propeller (Knight Commander).
The Campaign Ribbon for Outstanding Service to Ulster Scots Formation Flying.
He is also the recipient of the highly coveted LOL 239 Certificate of Aeronautical Competence.
Personal life
Away from aviation, Fawltywings is an enthusiastic collector of vintage propellers, miniature aircraft and obsolete navigation equipment. He maintains a particular interest in aviation history and is known to correct anyone who describes a biplane as a ‘two-winged thing’.
Legacy
Wing Commander Fawltywings remains a central figure in the Orange Arrows and a respected authority on knitted aviation. His commitment to operational excellence, ceremonial precision and the advancement of Galgorm’s aerial capabilities continues to inspire a new generation of knitted aviators.
His personal philosophy is simple:
‘A good pilot never loses his direction. He may occasionally lose his aircraft, but that is an entirely different matter.’
About Wackipidia
Wackipidia: A clatter o Galgorm Fowk is the world’s first entirely fictional Ulster Scots digital encyclopaedia. Established in 1967, its extensive collection of biographies, historical records and questionable facts has been preserved on a single floppy disk at the Galgorm Central Telephone Exchange.
One floppy disk. Countless entries. A clatter o Galgorm fowk.