Every great invention begins with a dream. For one Galgorm LOL 239 fifer, that dream involved an extraordinary new musical instrument: the Fife Organ.
The concept is said to be a gigantic steam-powered organ constructed entirely from fifes. In the dream, the instrument was unveiled as a masterpiece of musical engineering, offering a sound that promised to transform the future of fife music.
There was one small detail that required further consideration.
How loud would it go?
According to the dream’s initial performance assessment, the answer was considerably louder than anyone might reasonably expect. With the volume dial turned to its maximum setting, the Fife Organ was reportedly capable of producing a sound greater than that of sixty Lambeg drums.
The consequences were immediate.
The ground shook. Roof tiles came crashing down. Buildings were subjected to an unexpected test of structural integrity. None of this appeared to concern the assembled fifers, who reportedly welcomed the development with considerable enthusiasm.
For the musicians, it was close to perfection.
An invention ahead of its time?
The dream came to an abrupt end when the fifer was woken by his cat. The identity of the cat has not been formally confirmed, although its intervention has raised questions about whether the project has sufficient feline support.
The proposed instrument remains at the conceptual stage. No engineering drawings, construction timetable or estimates of steam consumption have yet been released.
However, sources close to the fifer indicate that the idea has not been abandoned. Work is reportedly continuing on making the Fife Organ a reality.
Galgorm LOL 239 has yet to issue a formal statement on whether the Lodge can accommodate an instrument of this scale. Questions have also been raised about suitable rehearsal premises, noise restrictions and the possible need for advance notification to neighbouring districts.